Postcards from the Bleeding Edge
Wednesday, May 05, 2004

  Biking Blogger advocates bodily harm to some SUV drivers

I woke up this morning and wrote something nice about Clear Channel - of all people - by being pleased by their be nice to bicyclists policy.

I hadn't thought it through. I hadn't had a full cup of coffee yet, or opened the bills, or stepped in the cat vomit, or tripped in the shower, or any of the other things that turn me back into being grumpy bastard by 9 AM. That message slipped in on me... so... without further ado:

You see, this bicyclist hates SUV drivers. Not all SUV drivers, just the SUV drivers that drive in the cursed by blond family vehicle...

You know that SUV: the one with the sole driver doing her makeup and talking on the phone - while no doubt listening to Clear Channel being nice to bicyclists... her mind turned to mush by the endless pap on that station...

Then she starts swerving the wheel in tune to some lame Briteny Spear-sucker song. The SUV sways in turn, all over the road...

and I have a choice between hitting the dirt or hitting an embankment....

It's then I've often wished that I could suddenly acquire about 5000 lbs of mass and bump my bike into that SUV. Slam it and her into a tree, and then stand over her, shaking my ebike over her bruised, bleeding body to make the last words she heard being "Wake up - smell the universe!".

So *I'm glad* there's free speech in this country. I'm glad that clear channel and google (soon to be renamed skynet) don't have a say in what I say here. I approve of those radio stations airing their kill bikers message, even though I disagree.

My constructive answer would be to take one of those DJs out for a long bike ride - say along blue mountain highway - and do a broadcast by a campfire from our perspective...

and if not swayed by this constructive approach...

...tie 'em to an SUV and drop 'em over a cliff.

Boy am I glad there's free speech in this country!
 
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David Täht writes about politics, space, copyright, the internet, audio software, operating systems and surfing.


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