Postcards from the Bleeding Edge
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Physics Geek: Great American Smokeout
Physics Geek: Great American Smokeout- Attention all smokers! Put the following date on your calendars: November 18. That is the day when smokers struggling to kick the habit can prove to themselves that it IS possible to quit smoking. How? By abstaining for a single day. Once you've accomplished that, try another day. Repeat as necessary.
Good luck, everyone. I have confidence that you can do it. Remember: it's just one day. You can do anything for one day."
1) For beginners: Start with 1 minute. Put the stogies across the room and tie your shoelaces together. It should take at least 60 seconds to retrieve a butt.
2) More advanced: Tie your cigarettes to a cinderblock and dump the whole kaboodle into the middle of Lake Superior. Dive into the lake sans breathing apparatus. If you can get your smokes back, you deserve 'em.
I more or less managed to quit smoking cigarettes a while back (I still bum them), but I picked up a tobacco pipe instead, which smells better and tastes better. Until today I justified still smoking the pipe because I love getting double takes from cops - "what the heck is that guy smoking?")
I also believe that smoking raises IQ by 5 points. Example - In the 60s, everyone in NASA smoked. Result: We got to the moon in 9 years. In the 00s, no one in NASA can smoke on duty. Result: We can't get back to the moon in less than 16 years.
I've just learned that even if I quit smoking that I'm still at least 14 IQ points smarter than either Bush or Kerry. I also scored 40 pts higher on the SATs than Al Gore. This proves to me that IQ is not a indicator of success in life or politics - that other factors, environment(Yale, marrying rich), heredity (the blue blood kind), discipline, and just plain luck - are far more important than IQ. Damn it.
So the smart thing is to quit smoking and clean up my immediate environment - and then start to hang around places like Yale.
I've got to put 7 more years, dumber, on the tail end of my life if I want to get to the asteroids. ¶ 3:01 PM 0 comments
