Postcards from the Bleeding Edge
Thursday, April 24, 2008

  No right to not remain silent

If you are a minor, or a female adult, yet an involuntary ward of the state, with no charges pressing against you, your cell phones will be confiscated for talking to the media, or your family. The attorneys assigned to you by the state have secured a court order taking your cell phone away for your protection. Trust in them.

To make up for this:

You will be given a playstation and made to play with it, and you are also required to watch 5 hours of television, starting with a daily dose of Fox News, and ending with reruns of the Sopranos.

You will be allowed to attend church services at the Christian church of your choice. Singing hymns from your own church is allowed, but only at a fifty foot distance between you and the other members.

Thank you for your co-operation on the DNA tests, so we may ultimately put a few of your fathers in prison, and, by the way, we will be individually suing each and every one of you to recover the costs we incurred in your arrest and housing and eventual disbursal, so we can buy more tanks and pay for more swat teams.

We will, however, after having seized the substantial capital assets, housing and land of your group, allow your mothers to go on welfare, just as we did in 1953.

That is all
.

...

Obviously, some members of FLDS have access to the internet. Somehow I doubt that the shelters the state is keeping the rest penned in have computers, however.

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Go ride some waves, dude, before the great white that's chomping San Diego surfers heads your way!
 
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