A few space program jokes and a wrap for the week.
Why isn't Bush doing more for the space program?
Because his wife Barbara doesn't fit into any space suit yet designed...
and he's afraid to travel anywhere without her, and a couple other tanks.
Why did Clinton lose interest in the space program?
Although NASA did spend 4 years and 14 million dollars designing the perfect tandem seat for the shuttle bay, they were unable to find a woman able to take six gees of force... on her hands and knees.
not 5 minutes after I posted this I got a lovely email from a female reader - she rewrote the joke:
NASA did spend 4 years and 14 million dollars designing the perfect tandem seat for the shuttle bay.
In testing the advanced device they discovered a woman can take more gees of force than a man - if properly supported.
Clinton, however, was unable to maintain the proper attitude under the stress of launch, and in fact, in the reversed position, several male volunteers smothered.
Naturally, the device, the dollars, and the true results of the research have been buried by the conspiracy involved.
Song of the day: Christine Lavins Artificial means
Backblogging: Jill over at Unlocking the Air
had given me a nice comparison of lemmings to artificial intelligences a while back - and this morning had a great rant about tittiegate
Back to Tittiegate, a tempest in a B-cup if I ever saw one, seems just in the last couple of days some damnfool has put together a class-action lawsuit based on how distressed and discomfited she was when the near-endless parade of bathing beauties posed grinning and jiggling next to giant sweaty beer bottles and spotless SUVs set down in the midst of sun-kissed badlands was brought to a screeching, whiplashing halt as That Tit was fleetingly exposed.
This scion of a free nation wants you, friends & neighbours, to join her in pressing suit upon the dastardly, filthy rich entities responsible for this travesty of a peep show. You should be getting your buy-in letter any day now.
Meanwhile, for the last year and a half, I've been having to deal with seeing pictures, and video clips, and magazine articles and more of various and sundry body parts what have been summarily and permanently separated one from another. I have been sorely tried by this, I kid you not, and what I want to know now is, where do I go to file a class-action lawsuit of my own?
A tempest in a B-Cup... Oh, yea, I was rolling. I don't regret cutting cable out of my life last year, it is far more fun to read about than watch. Same (doubly) goes for war. I think if we all turned off the TV once in a while we'd be a happier people.
Funny thing this morning - I had finally set my business hours in stone - 6-10AM PST monday through friday & 4-8 (and usually later) sunday through thursday - compatible with new york, california, and india. I get a little sun during the day - and a dedicated timeslot on internet radio. Looking forward to it.
I had come clean - and called myself a gnome
in a conversation this morning - and gnome-girl
picked up my blog. It is millionth monkey syndrome! Maybe she cracked my crypto and - wow - what a nice set of blogs she has!
And some sort of blogosomething happening in vegas this weekend. I look forward to participating from the comfort of my easychair. While I am just about ready to launch my show
, I am not ready to take on Vegas without carrying enough electronic gear to outclass a borg babe. Keyboards are heavy, man. I have been rehearsing some classic music for the left hand. Some serious clocked midi sweet fat fucking appagiated sounds
bass Bass bass Bass bass Bass bass Bass bass Bass bass Bassbass Bass bass Bassbass Bass bass Bass
bass Bass bass Bass bass Bass bass Bass bass Bass bass Bassbass Bass bass Bass bass Bass bass Bass
bass Bass bass Bass bass Bass bass Bass
While I am bashing off a weeks worth of stress, I figure I will abuse some more presidents.
Reagan thought SDI stood for Space Doohickey
I have exactly two things in common with Richard Nixon - we both liked space - and we both like to tape stuff....
Speaking of taping stuff, sometime in early march arlo guthrie will be here to sing his 1 millionth rendition of alices restuarant, the ghost of nixon will attend, and everybody will have a goood time.
Thats all for now, signing off, be back again sunday.
Oh, yea - See those links over on the right top of my blog there - every one O them is gooood reading.