Postcards from the Bleeding Edge
Monday, June 23, 2003

  McPhallicism

McPhallicism. It's the idol worship of the phallus and the idol worship of the corporation, combined. I've been struggling to compress everything I know about these two topics into a set of definitions that make sense and, well, I keep getting distracted by real life.

Anyone else care to riff off on this newly coined word? Read Beating the Brand first... and below is the Beating the Brand, part II segment where McPhallicism first appears... then send mail to: mike (a.k.a Johnny Net)

Pericat thought about the 99¢ orgasm special but got distracted after that... Ha!

Interesting word choice, pericat, later on in your blog - the word discourse vs social intercourse. Hmmm...

Right after that I thought of hitting the drive-through window and saying

"I'll have the orgasmic happy meal - GO LARGE, please."

Got distracted after that by the Clinton and the Intern Haiku series.

From Beating the Brand, Part II


- Reversed therapy with Dr A:


Tatiana perfume and a drugcompany salesrep waft into Dr A's office and his senses overload - he's momentarily disoriented - he gets up to find her a chair. She's 22 years old, fresh out of college, and definately not a virgin. She smiles - revealing stunning white teeth - then:

She unstraps her McPhallus and slaps it down in the middle of his antique chess set. It's a tissue box, her company's latest drug emblazoned in maroon on all 4, no... 6 sides.

This is for you, she says, with a sexy smile - it's a gift.

The tissue box now weighs 14 thousand pounds. You can't move it.

Now it's been in your field of vision for weeks. It's a gift, from a sexy lady. It's right in the middle of your chess set - Your blue fisher king cowers before the maroon monolith... the big hairy corporate balls hang out invading your private space, your office... but it's a gift, you can't move it - you keep seeing it and you keep deleting it from your thoughts - you stop playing chess because of it...


That tissue box just sat there - for weeks - until I showed up for therapy and moved it for Dr A.

Dr A said, with total astonishment: "It's amazing how much better that feels."

We sat and admired the chess set for a while - the seagull pawns, the esthetics of the board itself - it was a perfect, peaceful moment - and then he found himself compelled to start finding all the other brands in the room, suddenly noticing pens, and cups, and worst of all the silver "alarmco" sticker in the window... we turned some of them around, we taped some of them out, hid the sticker behind a plant, and I could see the doc visibly relaxing, growing less tense. I was having fun - maybe I wasn't entirely crazy -

Then we talked about how the everpresent and overwhelming corporate sexuality symbols may cause millionth monkey syndrome. He asked me for a copy of Beating the Brand, and then... I had to drive home... somehow... through the information overload... on Soquel Road...

... to be continued ...

 
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David Täht writes about politics, space, copyright, the internet, audio software, operating systems and surfing.


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